Forty Nine and a Dozen

In a dozen days, I will be fifty. I don’t know how I feel about it. While I try to figure it out, I thought I would see about documenting my fiftieth year through pictures and words, hence I’m back to Bronte’s World again. I wonder if anyone imagines what fifty will be like? I wonder if everybody is surprised by fifty, thinking they don’t look or feel fifty. Questions of where the time went and what’s ahead.

I had an odd thought today. It was the first time one of my thoughts began “Before I die…..” As soon as the phrase ran through my mind, it startled me. I was thinking about how I’d like to have another pitbull someday. The whole thought was “Before I die, I would like to have a little pitbull puppy”  That’s when the puppy’s dozen plus year lifetime smashed to my lifetime. Suddenly my thoughts went to trying to raise a puppy in my sixties or later, and time flashed: I’m going to be fifty.

I went to a school fundraising function at Chuck E. Cheese tonight, and on the way home I passed a carnival. At Chuck E. Cheese, I played Skee Ball. The sound of the nine balls rolling down the chute at the start made me remember taking my brother to the arcade restaurant. Chuck E. Cheese was just starting out and my brother was about eleven. Donnie loved going. I imagined him the size of all the students running around. We spent hours there. Tonite part of me was counting the minutes to escape the loud flashing neon and clanging noise, and part of me just smiled.

I had that same smile driving by the “parking lot carnival” except this time it was the memories of my hometown county fair and walking the midway with Donnie. But the memory was of a visit home when both of us were grown and we discovered it was fair week. On the spur of the moment we decided to walk down to the fairgrounds and stroll the midway. It’s funny because the conversation then was about us being kids, and we spoke as if we were so grown. We laughed about how old we were as we shoved funnel cakes and cotton candy in our mouths.

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